I'm seriously embarrassed

A few of you have gently and others not so gently told me that I'm down right rude, crude and mean-spirited. I learned from a wise woman that my gut instinct is what I should go with. I'm not about to take a sensitivity training course, but I will be more considerate of those who may be near suicidal because your fantasy football teams SUCK and you can't take a little bit of joking. To those of you that are not sensitive, you will have to feel extra wrath for me holding back on the butterflies of the group.

The first match up to be discussed is between the Black Mamba & Vick's Puppy Store. Most of the time when black mamba faces a dog, the snake will hail victorious. This week however, what was expected to happen did not happen. It seems that this October is spookier than normal and people like Doron will hate life even more as the month progresses. The only thing that could make Doron's life worse is if he came home and found his wife wearing this.

The next clown session won't be that good because I was unable to dedicate enough time to it. Since I'm not in the office for 40 hours a week, I wasn't really able to think of enough funny things to say to the guy who said he cashes his paycheck at Wal-Mart. That's right Alan; you. You got beat down by Leo's illiterate team and even worse you failed to put in a complete lineup. The biggest atrocity that you committed may be the fact that you don't realize that once you leave for the day at 2:30, the rest of the office doesn't go home. Most of us stay until at least 5pm, while a handful actually stick around until 5:05. I think what most of us really want out of you though Alan is a real effort. For the love. You're in the worst division in the league. There is no reason why you shouldn't be dominating it more than you already are. At least take the time to fill in your roster. What is being overlooked in this paragraph is the fact that Leo has put in a solid performance three weeks in a row. He's not used to being "Mr. Stamina" so let's not get too excited about his win streak, but we'll congratulate him on what he's done. 125 points is no joke!.

The next winner isn't used to being congratulated. Since that's the case, we'll do it subtly and with lots of tongue in cheek. Here goes nothing: We are so proud of you Keler. You had a great weekend. Not only did you beat the worst team in the league, you also lost your man-card. Seriously! You took your wife to see Justin Timberlake? It's one thing if he's hosting the ESPY's or another if he's hosting SNL , but that as a weekend date with the wife is not the best of ideas. Gregg... Your team is horrible. You have no hope. We thought the match up would look something like this, but instead it looked like this. Thanks for your $25 donation.

Bo got back in gear this weekend. It's a good thing she was out "sick" the whole week with "swine flu" because it allowed her some quality one on one time with cbssports.com to get her team in line. Nice 125 point effort there. It's too bad that you got all of those points against a dud of an opponent. Seriously Erica... 53 points? Come on! You're like a really bad stunt double. You're right Bo, I can't dog your Brady - Welker combo. They were a freak of nature.

Next we come to Señor Sarcasm against the oblivious. I want Joyce to win and be successful. After all, she's done wonderful things for the bank and is great to work with and at the beginning of the year she talked a lot about knowing what she was doing. As it turns out she possibly has the best pool of talent that sits on the bench every week. She's got a great pool of running backs that she hoards and rather than trading them for some much needed WR help. Come on Joyce... you're better than this! As for Señor Sarcasm, you survived this week after thinking the Raiders were going to lie down like a bunch of pirate hookers and allow McNabb to go off. Congrats on your victory and on being a part of the one loss club.

Finally we go to Long and First who was against the lady whose excuse for not putting in a full lineup is that she would rather party with a bunch of complete strangers then go to church with her husband (even though she thinks organized religion is a joke) and not even access her IPhone during the pastor's boring sermon to make a few last minute lineup changes. COME ON KATIE! Why have an IPhone with a limited 3G network if you're not going to use it? Tony is living in a dream world right now. How could life get any better? The Yanks are up 3-1 and about to beat the Angels, the Bo-Sox are out of the playoffs, he has the best portfolio in the bank, his hair is starting to grow back, and on top of all of that his record is 4-2 and he is in a great position to win the wild-card playoff spot. This is where I should mention that Katie left a slew of points on the bench by having bye week players in, but because I'm going to be more sensitive, I won't state plainly that that was a BONEHEAD move.