That's all she wrote for the year

This will be the last official blog I post. Now that the regular season is over and the those that are not in the playoffs are done, there is little motivation to keep writing. The truth is the blog is written primarily for the amusement of Señor Sarcasm and to keep Katie laughing / on her toes. Another reason why this site sucks is due to the fact that those that are in the playoffs are outed. At least you could keep playing in hopes of not finishing dead last like the Japanese Turd did. Oh well... we tried something new and realized it sucked hard. Next year we'll move on to Yahoo.

There was an interesting trend that happened last week. The 4 teams in the playoffs all scored more than 100 points. I guess there's a reason why they are playoff teams and the rest of you are not (with the exception of Señor Sarcasm. You were only kept from the playoffs because the fantasy football gods find your pouting amusing. The "it's not fair" comments make them laugh much to hard to give in and let you win.) Had the divisions been split up differently then Alan definitely would not be in the playoffs but I guess that's life. Right? Life isn't fair and anybody who thinks it should be fair is stupid. That's right Katie, I said it. Life shouldn't be fair and you're stupid if you think it should be.

Let me give you an example... most ladies scream for this equal rights thing and want equal pay and that glass ceiling thing to be removed, but when it's time to change the water on the water dispenser who do you call? That's right... a man. I could come up with more examples, but I don't want to get kicked in the balls first thing in the morning.

On to the meaningless matchups. (Before I do that, I was challenged last week to try to be funny and kind. I'll give that a whirl, if it doesn't work, just know it was Tony's stupid idea.)

First we had the laughing stock team of the league against the sexiest owner of the league (no offense Katie, Bo, Erica & Alan). In non-surpising fashion Gregg laid an egg, had the fewest points in the league for the week, and had he played the right players as recommended by CBSSports.com he wouldn't have lost. But that's double G for ya. His glory continues to live in the past. He used to be a good baseball player, but now he gets struck out by a 10 year kid. He can't even catch candy thrown right to him. (Basically he's like a woman.) Now you'll hear the comment, "I won the league last year." Big freaking whoop! You're like President Obama's approval rating. Just because it used to be good doesn't mean it is anymore. As for Joyce, you weren't all that bad. Had your life not been so hectic early on in the season you might've been able to do a little more. If I recall correctly you had some bonehead moves that ended up biting you in the booty. That's life I guess.

The second meaningless matchup was between Leo's Spelling champs and weak comebacks (however your email today was funny) and the worst team of the league statistically speaking. In 6-8 fashion Leo came up short just like in life (whether in the bedroom or in fantasy football). As for Erica's team (who still hasn't read this blog)... Thanks for playing. It was a real pleasure having you in the league. We all sincerely hope you continue to play next year because we love playing against you. The only request we have is that you change your team name to "the self-esteem booster". I think you made the fewest moves in the league and it showed by the fact that your team sucked from day one.

Finally, meaningless matchup number 3 was between the buckless broncos and a band from the 80's. Is it really surprising to anyone that the 3 loserville games all had the 3 lowest combined scores? It shouldn't be! Poor Keler's team got beat up by poor management early on, auto-draft gone bad, and then just not being very smart. Bo put forth a helluva an effort but it wasn't enough either. (I just noticed that I haven't been very nice yet... I'll try that now). The best part about both of these competitors is that they had a "can do" attitude and a spirit that lived on despite there ineptitude. (Read that again with a sarcastic tone and you'll realize that being nice isn't one of my strong points.)

OK... on to the important games.

Katie, you got owned. You got beat down like you stole something. What may have helped is if you weren't out until the wee early morning hours on Saturday taking in some old Vietnam drugs (Agent Orange), and then partying all over again with some gay english band (Muse) later on. You need to realize that your real passion in life is not music, but fantasy football. If music were your thing then you'd be singing more in our meetings, or using your pen as a drum, mix in a little air guitar on the side. Since you don't do any of those things, its obvious that you are a closet singer which leads us all to wonder what else you have in your closet. Some educated guesses have been the following: You're a closet cave-woman. You are a lesbian. You are Ken's secret lover. And finally you are in love with Alan's bald spot. The 4th guess is probably the closest to reality which is why your team laid an egg this past week. You would rather have Alan win then you because of your fierce love for him and his ever growing bald spot. (I think the spot is actually getting bigger the longe rhis hair gets). Alan did a good job covering up his weaknesses this past week, but one can only wonder how long it will be until it is discovered that not only does Alan have a massive / growing bald spot on his head, but that his team really isn't that good to begin with. Only time will tell until his weaknesses are discovered.

If I would have said that Kurt Warner will only put up 1 point this week, yet Doron would beat Señor Sarcasm and have the highest point total of the week you would've thought I was crazy. Truth be known, I didn't say that, so I'm not crazy, but it did happen, so maybe I am crazy after all. Zylka finally put in the right QB, but it was the need for a better recieving corp that hurt him this time. I'm not sure how the previous weeks would've been, but at least for this week, Leo's failed trade with Zylka wouldn't have helped him at all. I'm sure we'll all get some kind of "wannabe" guilt inducing email later on telling us how he would've been special had that trade gone through, but the real email should come out stating that had Señor Sarcasm not taunted the Mamba then the trade most likely would have gone through anyway. We call that "not waking a sleepy bear." No, Doron isn't a bear, but his mama bear-esq response to your taunting email created a wave of response that was sufficient to squash your deal. Had no email been sent, he most likely would have forgotten about the trade, or at least not had the motivation to kill the deal. Democracy is a bitch (I think that's an official term), especially when rallied against your own cause.

Finally we come to what will inevitably be one of the league champions. The puppy store vs. the porn peddler. Despite my victory, the porn peddler pointed out that the victory really came down to one play. Because I won I won't go into details. Truth be known, I would have rather lost because the chances of beating an opponent 3 times in a row is slim. I wish I had something funny to write or insulting or kind, but it's late and I don't care anymore.

Thanks for reading and for your suggestions. Most of all thanks for laughing and encouraging me to keep clowning on the league. I hope Zylka gets over his pout-fest and joins us again next year. If he doesn't, then we'll just have to find some other whiny, sarcastic, little girl to fill his shoes.