Give the people what they want

I am a man of the people. And as that man, I will give you what you want. More sarcasm, more ridicule and more jokes pointed at Katie with her new nickname, "The ClockMaker." Why the ClockMaker? Because you ask her what time it is, and she'll tell you how to make a clock. It's late at night and I'm a little loopy so let's get started.

First of all, I like how Leo the loser is trying to start a revolution within the league by proposing a 6 team playoff. How self-centered are we Leo? It appears at this moment that you would NOT be one of the top 4 teams, so how wonderful an idea it would be for you to propose something that is not even possible. I know your other league has different capabilities, but keep in mind what Zylka's team name is; "This Site Sucks." And it truly does. Because we did not pay a $250 league fee, we can't use all the nice features that are available for free on sites like Yahoo or ESPN. That is reason number 1 why this site will NOT be used next year. I have other reasons, such as the scoring, functionality and cost. So anyway, even if it were unanimous, there is no possible way for us to alter the way our league is dictated. I know you are frustrated, so the best thing for you to do is to go home to your smoking hot wife and ridicule her. If that doesn't make you feel better than go clown on your kid who can't even walk or talk yet. As far as I'm concerned he's good for one thing right now and that's being a doorstop.

I had a roommate my freshman year in college that said all sorts of funny stuff. One of his favorite quotes was "If. If. If. If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle." That is Alan's theme for the past two weeks and past 3 out of 5. He lost by 1 point two weeks ago and last week he lost by 2. The worst thing coming from Alan's mouth is the excuses of how Calvin Johnson sucks, or if Eagles don't suck cock, or whatever thing he comes up with. The truth of the matter is this; Alan beat up on the weakest division to start off with, and now he is tied for first with a record below .500 and Joyce is breathing down his neck (both literally and figuratively). My bold prediction is that Joyce wins that division and Gregg commits harakiri. Let's not be overly critical of Alan's team. Rather we should be loud and clear that Tony's team is the best in the league right now which is why he has won 6 games in a row and scored the most points.

The other guy making noise in the league is the Mamba who beat the hell out of the clockmaker and the rest of the league. Nice work by duping Joyce & the rest of the league by putting together a "fair" trade which netted you some serious players. Nice Ray Rice addition and Brandon Marshall is working out well too. Thank you for being so generous with your trade. In addition to duping the league into believing your trade was a fair one, you've also convinced the office to start working. The glory days were before you came to our region and we'd sit around playing strip poker and horseshoes with an occasional boccie ball mixed in. Now we have to do actual work and write the LP's & AAM's ourselves rather than outsourcing our work to India. Oh well, I guess this work thing is good for us, but time will tell. Katie - congrats to your Steelers for embarrassing the Broncos. Also, I swear if your mom grabs my butt again I'm going to grab her boob. OK, not really, but I'll expect a sushi lunch out of it. I may have a nice butt, but you can't just grab it without paying for it. I'm a male-whore.

Joyce is moving on up in the league. It's hard not to laugh after reading that, but sadly enough it's true. She lucked out by being in the worst division where you can be three games under .500 and still be 1 game out of first. If you take a realistic look at that division, you'll realize that Joyce is in prime position to take that division over. I don't care what happens, if she wins the league with a sub .500 record, she's not getting the money. Leo had a nice effort with more than 100 points but it was weak QB play that hurt you the most. You can't win em all so you might as well try to rig the system so you can "make things more exciting."

The surprise of the weak came when Keler beat Señor Sarcasm. All the witty remarks weren't enough to put you past the little guy on this one. Keler didn't even care enough to put in a full lineup and it was still enough to come away victorious. I have to admit that I prefer having Señor Sarcasm win because he is more likely to contribute various ideas to the blog. Unfortunately the sour grapes called defeat also caused a case of "writers block."

Bo... just because you don't work with us anymore doesn't mean you throw in the towel with your team. That being said, without you putting forth your best team, you still spanked the Japanese turds. It's been awhile since a team has gone from 1st to worst in such a quick time frame, but Gregg is showing us all how lucky he was to win last year, and how his knowledge of sports is only slightly higher than Mr. Call's. The main advantage in GG's corner is his ability to properly pronounce names. Then again, we may hear a few "Brent Far" references coming from GG's office sooner than later. It's too bad that you can't recall your entire team and start over again.

Finally we come to my match up where I had a bye week and still got a W. Thanks for at least putting in a full lineup Erica.

A few quick notes before I close:
1) There is a Thursday game starting this week and continuing on for the rest of the year (I believe). Be sure to check the schedule so you don't get screwed.
2) This site seriously does suck and will not be used next year.
3) Contrary to popular belief, I think this league is very exciting. Every division has shared ownership of first and with the exception of my division & Gregg, almost everybody else has a real chance of winning it all if you keep winning.