And you wonder why there's a glass ceiling!

Here are a few interesting facts from Week 2. 1) All of the girls in the league lost (No, Tony is not a girl, but he did lose, but had he faced a girl he would've won). 2) The girls all had the lowest scores of the week. So because the ladies are inept at fantasy football you are now subject to some woman bashing. You want to know why most women make less than men when in the same position? Want to know why there are fewer women CEO's then men? Want to know why you should have your right to vote taken away? Want to know why you should be staying at home, barefoot & pregnant while making us men some food and then pleasing us in the bedroom? The answer to all of those questions is the same... because you can not handle a simple task such as managing a fantasy football team. Yes, it really is that simple! To elaborate further on this please check with Ron Burgandy

Fogetaboutit is a prime example by forgetting things like the following:
- Picking up a free agent quarterback is supposed to get you points (Jeff Garcia is not a good idea).
- The purpose of playing fantasy football is to outscore your opponent, not get hammered like an 18 year old drunk.
- When it’s your turn to bring breakfast into the morning meeting, that means you bring breakfast. It's ok though Joyce, we all have those moments. Some refer to them as "Senior Moments" but when they become a habit, it just means your old & senile. Congrats to Mr. Fitzgerald. You're 2-0 and really excited about life. Your receivers suck and so does your bench but you've had some good play from a few people each time to make you a winner. And when you're closing in on 50 sometimes that's good enough.

I'd better address the Black Mamba issue now because he was not too happy about last weeks post. The truth of it is when your team sucks, you need to hear about it and be referred to as a garden snake. But when your team opens up a can, then you deserve to have your gardner snake nickname taken back and have a more potent snake nickname returned. While your performance was impressive, it wasn't quite Black Mamba-ish enough. This week you'll be upgraded to an Adder Snake. To you Hey Reb... it's quite possible that you have the worst team in Fantasy Football land. I know that Erica will claim that she has nothing to to with the league and that it's CJ's team, but the truth is she can't back out of it that easy, unless of course you're ok with the proverbial glass ceiling.

The other guy deserving some props this week is Mr. SBA himself. It's not that much fun making fun of you because half the people in the league don't realize that you look like a mini-metrosexual, so please come in and introduce yourself to them so they know what they're laughing at when you decide to put Carson Palmer back in the rotation. You came up big against a formidable opponent and put up the 2nd most points for the week. Quite a difference compared to your impotent effort in week 1 when you took sleeping pills instead of Viagra. Long and First got outplayed by short and second in this one despite a 97 point output. I'm sure Tony is used to disappointments by this time in his life. If he wasn't used to them before his BON life, he's used to them now. It can't get more disappointing then taking over two of the worst portfolios in the bank and then having to sit in Warren's old office which is a cespool for a number of germs & diseases that haven't been discovered yet.

Katie, the Steelers lost, so you deserve to lose too. The truth is you are so much better this year than you were last year that it's hard to clown on you. Joyce should use you as a case study because you were seriously that bad last year. Thank heavens you've pulled your head out of your butt because you're better than that. The Japanese Kamakazi Turds have been desperate as of late to pick up a new WR. Word has it that he's willing to part with Willis McGahee for next to nothing. MC emailed to see if you would trade Willis for Larry Rice or possibly Brent Far (to those of you who don't find this funny, you need to know that MC (a guy that used to work here) once referred to the Super Bowl as the "Super Serpies" and pronounced Brett Farve's name wrong all the time. He also got a Bear Claw and an apple fritter confused. He also moonlights as a chef, Gap worker, pottery barn employee, bad father and worse husband.) Anyway, congrats on the Victory Turd man. You were able to do all this while holding down a regular job, making snow cones in the evening and pulling off a fantasy football victory. That's why there is no glass ceiling for Asian Men (except when it comes to being porn stars).

Mr. Miserable Sarcasm beat up Leo this week. In a way it's payback for leaving that many piss poor loans on his desk as he left for SAG. In a way sweet justice will be Zylka's because not only did he win, but most of those loans may eventually make their way back to Leo. While there's nothing too funny about this, there is something pretty funny associated with this clip. And the even funnier part is that the person for whom this video clip was intended, will be unable to view it because UTube & bank computers are not compatible and Mr. Zylka has surpassed even me in cheapness by having a dial-up internet connection in his house. That's about as sad as Gregg's cheap cable (channels 2 - 17) and the fact that Doron's penny pinching collection was able to cover the league's entrance fee.

Finally we come to my game. The game that most nobody cares about which is evident in the fact that 1) I saved it for last and 2) Bo didn't even seem to care either hence her 46 point output. For some people an autodraft was a good idea, you Bo, may have been one of those people. I like the fact that you decided to take the bull by the horns and draft to your hearts content. The rest of the men that will beat you are happy too because you not only provide us a win, but you also give us another example as to why women are inferior in basically every aspect of life except for child-birth (however if Men could do that, we'd probably be better than women too. See the movie Junior with Arnold as exhibit A).

Now that I've sealed my fate as the biggest jerk in the office. I hope you had a good laugh and we'll see you next week.